Gender Energy Balance
It’s said that every body has a masculine side and a feminine side. Energies that compliment each other to create a healthy personality balance.
My masculine side was established at a very young age… but not by any man in my life.
In my family, it was the women who reigned. Oftentimes, selfishly and carelessly. Not thinking about the effects this behavior had on their children.
The men were only there to support their efforts to survive.
They chose who they thought were weaker men… Men that they could control and manipulate.
Until they couldn't. They moved on swiftly… but not defeated.
Their voices were deep, their words were intentioned.
Their strength came from their pain… pain that had never been addressed or processed.
Their power came down strong. Not to be messed with… only to be heard and felt.
These women weren’t very feminine — they didn’t wear flowery dresses or lots of make up.
They didn’t speak softly.
They didn’t take very good care of themselves. They weren’t even sure what that could look like. There were no models before them.
Many of them suffered from quiet eating disorders or addictions and were latent with invisible anxieties from feeling like they had to carry so much.
Their mates were not equipped to handle their moods, strength and keen intelligence.
The daughters of these women inherited many of these attributes as well.
Most did not bear children. Most rose high in their careers and had a comfortable lifestyle.
Their pains seemed invisible to others.
Never learning to love themselves, they always put security and safety — or what they thought would bring security and safety — first. Not knowing how to take time to rest and relax or to laugh and love.
They’d never been taught to nurture.
Most lost their girlish ways were lost very young as they grew into resilient soldiers quickly and smartly.
Being pretty and sweet won’t keep you alive. Feeling your feelings is dangerous. Crying is weak.
They believed… in the depth of their souls… that no man — or woman — was coming to save them.
